The Work Is Never Done.
So I've started taking Muay Thai classes here in Cascais at Flow. I decided I needed to take this on because it would:
1. benefit the students I teach at the gym
2. be a great workout supplement
3. be fun
All of these things are working out to be true in just a few classes. I've already come up with improved sequences for my classes at the gym based on a better understanding of the students, my cardio requirements are now being met, and it sure is fun to wack things. Each class has been a challenge physically but with the support of a great trainer and super welcoming students I keep coming back for more.
But there is something else has come up in training that I was not expecting. It's an old feeling and all too familiar since I dealt with it alot when I started out in Yoga-frustration and self doubt. MAN!!! I was not expecting that at all. I mean, I'm a zenned out Yoga teacher with my shit together right???
I was ready for the physical challenges and the mental challenge of hitting someone and being a bit scared of being hit, but all of the old self doubt and judgement talk that played like a bad song in my head was a shocker. The monkey mind took every mistep, missed punch, akward move, and lack of stamina to an extreme level of negativity. I could feel the frustration rising in me, making me tired, pulling away focus, making it all worse. I could hear the ugly self talk "too old", "too fat", "foolish", "lazy", etc and so on.
At the moment I was starting to spin down an old familiar path of pity and misery that would have lead me possibly towards anxiety and depression I stopped and started to practice mindfulness Yoga.
I caught the feelings and I paid attention to them.
I didn't try and run from them or squash them down.
Took a few clearing breaths and connected down to my feet.
I thought about where these thoughts were coming from (this my friends took years of work with professionals outside of the Yoga world) and put things into perspective.
Reconnected with how I really wanted to feel in that moment by remembering my intentions (see points 1-3 above).
Laughed and got back to work.
The next punch I laid on the big bag made a satisfying thud.
The work is never really done. It changes and shifts as we change and shift. It gets easy and then hard and then easy again and so on. The point is just keep working. Don't give up. The next move you make could be so satisfying.